Saturday, August 21, 2010


first off:
Fuck you. Just FUCK YOU. Listen joker, I don't have the slightest bit of time for people who try and use scare tactics against me. I don't want to see your fucking doctor picture and I sure as hell won't be going to your fucking blog. Playing off an already scared girls legitimate phobia is just fucking sick. I don't expect to see you posting here again.

God. Fuck that picture. Anyway, on with the show.

I just now remembered to look at the comments section of the post before this one. I'm sorry to say I missed Zeke. I've trying to stay away from the others but this is getting out of control. I guess I'll do some snooping around, reading what I can. I'm just.... I'm done. I'm not staying in the dark about this.

But gods I'm scared. And I still don't know if I should pick up that camera or not. But I suppose I'll show you the pictures, tomorrow perhaps.

A darkened rainbow
A featureless face
A change in flow
A change in pace

Let's see what we might unfold
Of a tale yet untold

Thursday, August 19, 2010

jet lag

Video's that freeze and stop working. Static. Pictures won't scan. HE'S watching too.

I spoke, My mother, she listened. I had to go "visit" my aunt for two months.

I was hoping.... Maybe it would be a good thing. Maybe if I went far enough away he couldn't follow. The only time I felt safe was in the air. Too high up, nowhere for him to hide.

Fuck. I live in Washington, I traveled to fucking North Carolina and he was there that first night. The trees. A line of trees just outside the property line a full forest. I saw him there from my window every night. Sometimes he didn't even bother to stay in the trees.

What does he want? Why does he want me?

I can't help but feel like he want's me to do something. I just try to stay away I don't want to hear it. I don't want to see.

But he wouldn't let me burn them. He wants me to see them and him.
I want to bring the camera out. I want to get the proof. The real proof. Not the pictures and drawings and scribbles stashed away in my drawer.

But when I pick up the camera it doesn't feel right.

Sunday, June 20, 2010


Hey. I know it's been awhile. I'm making something for you right now. I guess even when you've seen your death you have to study for finals. It was funny, for awhile there after the breakdown, I forgot everything, I mean it was there, in the back of my mind, but I didn't think about it. I concentrated on studying and even the nightmares stopped. For awhile.

I suppose he doesn't like being forgotten, as soon as he had a chance he was back. Everything I learned, the things I shouldn't have forgotten, they came back. I had to face the facts: I'm either crazy or I'm going to die. Neither of those sounds like a great thing but I have no choice, right?

I won't make the mistake of telling anyone near to me again. They forget or disappear. I suppose that doesn't bode well for you, but you've been watching this whole time. It's too late anyhow.

I'm making a video for you, there are too many pictures to just post.

And hey, new picture. Someone please tell me this one's safe. I haven't seen anything in it yet.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

God. Ii don't rememmber that poem.......I have things i Need to tell you but I'm shaking too much type right now..

Monday, May 31, 2010


The dreams
The dreams
They haunt me
it is HE

Like a plague upon the land
A sickness in my soul
And no doctor's hand
could ever make me whole

I see
I see
I see HIM
I know
I know
My brother's Grim

The sickness HE imparts
A plague waiting to be spread
It'll creep into your hearts
The doctor for the dead

You'll see
You'll see
Your future fate
You know
You know
I'm just bait

Yet you come to see this
Help spread the horrid plague
Just how can you miss
It isn't quite so vague

Oh help
Oh help
Don't leave me
I beg
I beg
Please don't flee

Thursday, May 27, 2010


I see him. In the corner. I think I've known all along he was there. I'll just change it again soon in the hopes that he goes away. Please let him leave.

I stayed home today. My arms, well I can't say a cat did it this time.

I took a nap and had a dream, though I'm beginning to wonder if they are really dreams.

I don't know if you can see them well. They are scratches. They didn't break the skin, but raised up and were very, very red. They still hurt.

I need to know more, it's scaring me. Do you believe watching those videos will help? Will researching this help? I need help, and you guys seem to know how to help. Why didn't I listen, gods why didn't I listen? Gods I hope I'm not insane.

I'm going to try some poetry. I don't know if It'll work, I don't know if there will be a message. I don't plan to check. I do not feel well.

Search The Trees
Search The Sky
Oblivious or obvious?
A simple little trick?
Do they truly mean anything?
Would you like a hint?

Done. I don't know if this will help, it's my hope they will. Should I continue with these poems? I just don't know.

I'm lost.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


Changed picture. Don't feel any better


Why, why the fuck did you mention it? The, well, the 'messages' in the poems. God damn I was hoping, praying even that no one would notice, you know?

I've never really been a poet. Never been good at it, but the poems just kinda flowed out of me, after posting I'd read them and I'd notice certain things. Messages, odd things. They scare me.

I didn't want to acknowledge them. I didn't want to. I didn't want to. But it's there now. The secrets I don't intend, odd words, they mock me. I know them.

The poems were just a joke to me, at first. But the nightmares the pictures, the horrible things. The whispers, the drawings. It's scaring me. I can't handle it, will it stop?

Please help. I don't feel well.

No more poems.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


Yup, well, just for the record, this morning post counts as last nights or some shit. I don't care.
I just got back from some orchestra thing my friends were in, which was boring except for the part where they played 'don't stop believing'

So, I'm awaiting the receival of my embarrassment still. Look forward to that, I guess >.>

Yes, other than that I guess I'll reply to the previous comment: I looked up slender-man on google images and it honestly chilled me to the bone. Really freaked me out (almost as bad as plague doctors) I'd rather not try to look up 'marble hornets' on Youtube if it has anything to do with HIM.

I don't know why but he seems so creepily familiar, like the face that watched me, I think it was faceless now. I was being watched by a faceless face?

Well, I seriously need to sleep. Poem:

Did you think you could fade away?
You don't have to go
Believe me, you can stay!

Telling them all you had to go
Me, pretending they were lies
About time for me to know

Him, you, they are the same
Could you listen for a moment?
Help end this viscous game

This horrible circling lie
At any moment could become truth
All of it for nigh

There it is, still horrible. I'll maybe try to be better tomorrow -yawns- but for now, bed. And hopefully no Nightmares =P

Today's color:
Pale Violet Red4


I'm really hating these nightmares. I mean all I really remember is that white face. It's so....creepy. And to top it off, I apparently forgot to close my curtains last night (which is weird because I'm so over-dramatically paranoid about them, especially now)and I had to get up and close them in the middle of the night. I swear I saw something moving behind the trees in the field across the street, but it was just an animal.....right? ;_; Nightmares suck.

I think I'll be changing my picture son, that (X) thing is starting to unsettle me. How did it get there anyway? New picture tomorrow maybe =/

In other news, the lip singing contest refuses to upload on youtube for whatever reason for my friend, so it looks like I'll be doing that. Extreme annoyance there but whatever.


when darkness does fall
and I Have closed my eyes
what I've Seen are all just lies
I can hear Him call

In the darkest time
The lies from winds so wild
As they twist through Trees like a child
their whispers are a crime

so as I lie
with wind whipping outside
and window open wide
"Help Me" I quietly cry

Meh, not really liking this one. =P Not my best for sure, but whatever, I've been exhausting my poor creative juices with all this poetry. You'll just have to deal with bad poems sometimes.

Today's color:
Gray 0

Sunday, May 23, 2010


Nightmares suck. Two in a row? Really? I may as well just toss the dream catcher out, and the thing has been working so well for years. -_-

Really, I don't remember much, just waking up with my curtains open and seeing this really pale face looking at me, don't really remember what the face looked like, if anything. Gaddamn nightmares -grumble grumble grumble-

At least I didn't scream and get my arms scratched to pieces by the evil incarnate.

Evil Incarnate here =3

Or, then again, I have no idea which of the 6 it was, the next likely candidate is, of course the floofiest one.

Nearly as evil as the evil incarnate =3

Posting early because, well honestly it's Sunday and the dream is going to be the only interesting part of my day and I'll probably forget it later. I will be posting the lip-singing video later, despite my embarrassment, but it isn't uploaded to youtube yet, and knowing my friends it won't be uploaded until midnight or something >.> Or she'll send it to me and tell ME to upload it because 'she doesn't know how/doesn't feel like it being on her account'

Honestly annoying in my opinion.


A scratching noise from the closet door
a bump sounding from under my bed
In my mind creatures of lore
I say to my ears it's all in my head

The sound of breathing not my own
and claws rapping on the ground
I roll over with a groan
To deny the horrible sound

But I sit up with a start
as I stare at the face
and the pounding of my heart
I've already given up the chase

The teeth, the eyes, the claws, it's horrible breath!
I know what I'm seeing is surely my death!

Well, that's that I suppose. Nothing more, nothing less. Look forward to me embarrassing myself later today >.>

Today's color:
Medium Purple

Saturday, May 22, 2010


Still feeling ow but not so bad now. Ugh. I just have to tell you about this freaky ass dream I had whilst napping.

Also: No I did not nap from the last post till now. I just woke up from my fifth nap today or something. many short naps.

Anyway, back to freaky ass dream: I was alone in my room and it was dark outside, I always close my curtains before I sleep at night because I'm paranoid, but the curtains were gone.

In front of my window I usually have two noisy birds, but now I realize the only things in my room are my bed and me. So I'm freaking out and suddenly the door opens and its HIM. My imaginary friend.

He was taller than I remembered, but at this point I was suddenly 6 years old again because y'know, it's a dream and dreams do that. All I really see are his long arms and long fingers and his legs.

I think he asked me to dance or something, but I don't really remember. I also keep drawing blanks when I try to think of his face. Well, whatever. So we start dancing, a waltz or something, I don't really know I've never really danced before. Then my mom walks in and smiles and says 'he's back' then he gets up and reaches for her and I just KNOW he's going to rip her open. His long arms kinda split opne and were all tentacle-ey.

I just screamed, and I guess I was really screaming out loud because a couple seconds later I woke up to scratches on my arms. Apparently the kittens my cat recently had were sleeping by my arms and freaked out when I started screaming.

I don't know, it was pretty freaky. I had to write it down now before I forgot it. Actually, looking up I've already forgotten most of it and the details seem new to me =P Dreams are weird. I think the freaky 'tearing my mother apart' part was because of the plague doctors...god they scare me so much. Why did I try to get over my fears yesterday? It just brought me nightmares mixed with my good ol' suited imaginary friend.

When consciousness fades and you fall asleep
the brain does play, the mind falls deep
and as you lay in deep deep sleep
to the clouds you can leap
or stab a knife and watch blood seep
watch and know you will not weep
for the life you just did reap
and see as your body does creep
and you stalk without a peep
for you know that talk is cheap
when you have a life to reap
and only a faint and distant beep
will bring you out of a deep dark sleep
and you can forget the lives you did reap

ooooh how fun! What is with all this creepy poetry, does my subconscious think that making it creepy makes it good? because it doesn't, obviously >.>

Today's color:
WHITE 8D Invisibility bitches XD


I am headache filled and generally ache filled and not feeling well =C I was supposed to go to Silverwood today but my head exploded. -.-

Unhappy. Just a quick update I guess. I mus crawl back into bed now.

No poem or color because everything sucks.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010



Why didn't I just press capslock? My finger actually slipped off of the shift key twice writing that.

YES. WELL..... anyway yesterday I was in a lip singing contest and it was thoroughly embarrassing... let' just say I was butterfree and the pokemon theme song was involved >.>

IN OTHER MORE EXCITING NEWS: My mom also had no idea that I even had an imaginary friend and it's not like I could find pictures of him, right? So I'm left here wondering what exactly he was like. I think he was bald, honestly. I can't really remember his face. We used to dance you know.

oookay, random but whatever. Jesus christ supertar This post is boring, I'll end my misery here and get on with the poem =P

darker than the black of nIght
and WhIter than the stars
no other coLors grace his presence
untouched is he
by even gray
the perfection of the bLack Suit
and the flawlEssnEss of the white shirt
he holds no colors in his heart
as he holds no love for life
meet with HIM and i SO fear
i'll nOt see you again this Night

wow, weird capitalization. Shift finger kept slipping and being a general weirdo, but I left it because I'm LAZY!

Today's Color:

Monday, May 17, 2010

Nothing Much

Boring day, boring post, right? Well whatever. My mom is coming home from her trip today so I can see her, it's also her birthday today and SHE WON'T ANSWER HER PHONE so I can't call her and she'll think I hate her. Not my fault.

Another good thing is that I can ask her about my imaginary friend, I mentioned him yesterday and it's weird but I totally forgot about him until now =C Of course my dad didn't remember me talking about him or anything AT ALL so bleh. He's my dad, but he can't be expected to remember details like that, so I'll have to ask my mom.

I don't know why, I'm just so curious about him =P

Well, yeah that's about it for now. Short post, nothing interesting happene.

He stood out on the window sill
Will he whisper to the wind?
Be as free flying as a feather? But...
Back to earth a feather falls

And when he falls it hurts him
He can't seem to stand back up
Will his broken spine be mended?
Not in this life, not today

Be as free as a kite now!
As you wheel around the city
I really tried to help you
Remember, I pushed you from the window!

OOOOh, morbid, huh? I actually kind of like this one. Though it certainly unsettles me. I think most of the one's I like unsettle me =|

Today's Color:

Sunday, May 16, 2010


Why can I never think of a title?

SO TODAY I kept clicking on links and they would somehow ALWAYS LEAD ME TO PLAGUE DOCTOR'S not like every link I clicked lead me to the same picture or anything, that'd be way freaky, but an astounding amount of links have lead to them today.

The problem with this? They terrify me. Like, google imaging them and trying to look through makes me almost cry and I have to click away in like 20 seconds. I can't stand them

In other news, my dear best friend is already hung up on a guy after breaking up with her boyfriend (she says it's more like she's allowed to like him now) I ask her who. She tells me to guess. This is one of the single most enraging things on my list of things that enrage me. HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHY?!?!?! No, just tell me, or at least give an obvious hint, making me guess makes me feel like a retard if I guess wrong. I hate it so ridiculously much. Of course once she finally tells me my guess is correct.

Anyway the guy she likes is the one that is trying to set me and Matt up. weirdo's. But in any case he's also the guy that told her SHE needed to have sex with Matt even though she had a boyfriend. To which he replied 'So? just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean you can't bone another guy. I've done it' which despite making me laugh because it sounded like he was gay, also made me not trust him.

I also have a tiny crush on him, but I'm never one to act on those things (which may explain the singular boyfriend I broke up with in, like, two months out of annoyance) plus she declared like first and she talks to him all the time. I'd have to turn him down even if he declared his love for me tomorrow. Plus I don't trust him.....

HOLY FUCKING SHIT 2, that random poem from yesterday seems so....incriminating now. Stupid future-telling poems >.>

Todays poem:
Once upon a time
When Prism was but a small girl
somewhere younger than nine
She had a best friend; face whiter than a pearl
He was always well dressed
going to a wedding?
Her only friend; he was the best
Or was it to a funeral he was heading?
She wishes he'd come back
She'd hug his suit so black

That was so epically horrible, it puts my imaginary friend to shame. I do so miss him. It was weird about him, he'd never come inside unless I was using a camera or something. Otherwise we'd always play outside XD He was a pretty cool dude I guess, I don't remember much about him =P

Today's color:
Slate Gray

Saturday, May 15, 2010


8D I ate so much today >.> it's a wonder I'm not 300 pounds by now XD Yeah, I don't really have much to say about today, but I feel like keeping a journal so =P I'll write here every day without fail unless something bad happens to me, in which case, assume the worst -solemn music-

Well, I'm entering a lip singing contest on tuesday with my friends and we decided that one of my friends will lip sync the pokemon theme song and me & the other friend will be pokemon who battle. It's super fun and hilarious. I can't wait.

If only
you could see how you're affecting me
if only
we could be together side by side and see
if only
She could let you go without a care
if only
we weren't the best of friends then it would be fair
if only
I opened up and shared my feelings
if only
I didn't feel bad about secret dealings
if only
you weren't the only person she saw
if only
she wasn't perfect to you; without a flaw
if only you could have seen me, instead of my best friend.

Wow, that spur-of-the-moment poem sounds really bad in retrospect since my best friends boyfriend broke up with her yesterday 0.0; but really, I have no romantic life whatsoever so.....yeah.... I suck at life ;_;

Today's color:
Dark Orchid

Friday, May 14, 2010


My best friend's boyfriend just broke up with her. He's such a douche. I mean seriously, telling her he loves her and they need to hang out more before bad and then the next day before school breaking up with her because they don't hang out enough. Seriously what the fuck?

Well whatever, she wasn't really sad, just pissed all day and acted pretty good, it's when she tried to say it out loud that she was sad.

In other news I was the victim of Blake today. He's such a weirdo, he jokes a lot about stupid stuff and he took my pen and wouldn't give it back until I did him sexual favors. No, I did not do any sexual favors in math class, or ever for him. I told my best friend to let him draw a penis on her arm with it which counted, so I got my pen back. He's such a weirdo.

Then he and my best friend were telling me I needed to have babies with Matt because....we're perfect for each other? I don't even like the kid, but they are so sure. Ericka just wants me to have his babies because he makes a weird face when he tries to look at things that are far away and want to take my 'squinty eyed Matt babies' for her own.

Why is she my best friend? Whatever, I have goddamn mud pie ice cream to eat bitches. FUCK YES.

Fuck yes oh my god
Mud pie ice cream is so good
chocolate plus chocolate

Yes. Haiku. deal with it.

Today's color:
Firebrick 3

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Here we go!

Well, I decided to start this blog because I've been really bored recently =D I guess I'll just post about my life in general, it'll be great fun I'm sure. I guess I'll do this journal style and write about today =P I didn't do much other than continually remind myself that it's Thursday. One day of the week left after this then I can FINALLY have a calm weekend. My mom and all my nieces and nephews are out of town this weekend so it'll just be me, my papa, and my brother. Quiet time 8D

Now for a poem:
Her bright blue eyes
Her soft brown hair
the way she smiles
you just can't compare
like a rainbow flies
through the open air
to fill you with love
take away the despair
then in a flash she's gone
flying away without a care
as her lifeless body
is lying there

I do so love off-the-top-of-my-head-and-badly-written-poems 8D I honestly don't know why I wrote that, but maybe I'll make it a tradition. That might be fun ;D

Today's color:
Deep Pink